Looking for love? Don',t use these lame phrases on your dating profile.
There are so many lame cliché,s and phrases on dating profiles. If you’re truly serious about finding love, you should avoid them all &mdash, especially the ones that make you sound pandering and obsequious for a relationship. Be you, own it, the right person will find you. How will your soulmate know that you’re unique and interesting if you sound like a boring, packaged caricature? Here are the top Five phrases to avoid on your online dating profile:
1. I love to laugh. Oh indeed, you’re the one person who loves to laugh? Who doesn’t love to laugh? We all do. Is there someone who loves to sob? I would love to read an online dating profile that states ",Hi, I’m Janet and I love to sob. If you love to sob as well, please reach out so we can sob together. I just love it! We can sob all night long listening to John Mayer.", Telling you love to laugh is like telling you love oxygen. Do you also love food? Laughter, food, oxygen are all part of the living practice. We should stop announcing it as if it makes us unique.
Two. Work Hard But Play Stiffer. Those who actually work hard don’t go around telling people ",I work hard but play stiffer.", They just work hard. If you are truly working hard, you won’t have time to talk about it. I’m sure Albert Einstein would credit his success to working hard but playing firmer, ",How I invented the theory of Relativity? I work hard but play tighter. Duh!",
Trio. I love traveling. People often express how much they love traveling on their dating profiles, yet most pictures are selfies inwards their house. I think these people like to ",travel", to different rooms in their house taking self-portraits, ",Look at me traveling to the undiscovered world of the bathroom. Here’s a picture of me in front of this shower curtain.", If you love to travel, that’s excellent. Share details about arousing or special trips you’ve been on, but don’t be generic about it. Would you ever meet someone at a bar, ",Hey, it’s nice to meet you. Do you love to travel? No?! I have to go. I will not talk to a man who doesn’t love to travel. I want to go to Sweden someday.",
Four. Fucking partner in crime. Before we become fucking partners, let’s discuss what type of ",crime", we are committing. Are we gargling up buildings or jaywalking? Let’s embark leisurely. Maybe ",playmates in crime", is too much for us. Perhaps we are better suited as ",pals in insults.", Also, why do you need a playmate? If you want to commit crime, go do it alone, you don’t have to bring me into it! Let’s say we get caught gargling up buildings. Now I’m doing life in prison, and all because you wished a ",playmate in crime.", So maybe I’m being a little cheeky, but isn’t it time we ditch this tired old phrase from our online dating vocabulary?
Five. Long walks on the beach. Stop. Just stop. Stop walking around on the beach. Maybe that’s the real reason people stay single, they’re too busy walking around on the beach all day. If people love long walks on the beach there should be a million people walking around on the beach right now, telling ",I love it!", I personally don’t like to walk around on the beach. It’s sandy and annoying, plus all I can think about is how it’s 20 degrees outside right now. I’m going to walk to my kitchen for a sandwich, you keep wandering around like a nomad.
Now, no one’s telling that you can’t love or express these things. If you truly do love the idea of traveling to a beach abroad with a fucking partner in crime who laughs a lot and works hard, well, that’s your thing. But find a way to package and explain that in a creative, engaging way. Nobody wants to date a cliché,. Also, if you liked this post please check out my book on Amazon ",Beg Your Kids Are Ugly", – Thoughts on Online Dating and the Future of Human Interactions.