. featuring an interview with YourTango Accomplished Joe Amoia.
Welcome to YourTango Experts’ Online Dating Bootcamp: Day Two! Today is all about getting to the bottom of the searing question: is online dating indeed worth all the hard work and headaches it can cause? Our editorial team sat down with YourTango Accomplished Joe Amoia to find out. (Wanna brush up on Bootcamp Day 1 ? Commence here.)
With thousands of single guys and sites to choose from, the thought of online dating can be pretty daunting. However, if you’ve reached the conclusion that online dating is more strained than it’s worth, think again. In the interview below, YourTango Accomplished Joe Amoia discusses the many perils of online dating. As it turns out, it isn’t so scary after all . and it’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of.
YourTango: Hi, Joe. Let’s dive right in. What’s the most common complaint women have about online dating?
Joe: Women are discouraged. A lot of them have attempted it, had bad practices, and adopted a been-there, done-that attitude. They’re wooed that if it didn’t work the very first time, it never will.
YourTango: Interesting. Do dudes feel the same way?
Joe: Well, very first you have to differentiate inbetween the boys and the boys. The boys are the ones who are out there just looking to prey on women, and they aren’t frustrated or discouraged at all because they’re taking advantage of women who are vulnerable. The fellows, on the other forearm, are just as frustrated as the women. They ask, ",Why can’t I meet a good woman? I know they’re out there.",
The trick for both guys and women is to understand how to play this game. Unluckily, a lot of people waste their time looking for Mr. or Mrs. Ideal. Then, as soon as someone better comes along, they lose interest. Then what happens is that they miss out on good opportunities that are right in front of them.
YourTango: Wow, that’s interesting. So, here’s an significant question: how can women distinguish the boys from the boys?
Joe: The thickest thing is for women to get clear on what exactly they are looking for. You know, what’s the type of man they want? Once you’re clear on that, it makes it effortless to identify if the fellow you’re talking with is even that type of fellow. Very often in this online dating world, they’re looking for someone just because he’s a dude. Okay, well he’s a stud, but whether you are indeed good for each other is a entire other question.
YourTango: So, your advice is for women go into online dating with a clear understanding of what they want?
Joe: Yes. I call it commencing with the end in mind. What end results are you attempting to get? Are you attempting to find a stud who will willfully walk you down the aisle? Are you just here to have some joy and need the dude to bring you to a concert because you have nobody else? Are you here to just date a lot? Indeed, what’s your purpose? What are you here for?
YourTango: Okay, so for those of us who have attempted online dating and can’t help but feel a little bit like it’s a last resort, like, ",I’m not meeting guys any other way, so I’m just gonna attempt online dating.", How do we get over that?